From the moment you say "I do," a small question may pop into your mind: "Will we make it?" This does not mean that you have doubts.
We all know couples who are separated and the divorce record is not promising. However, newlyweds continue to say things like "love of my life" and make wedding vows that include promises to listen, trust and meet each other's needs.
Despite this, not every couple will stay together.
However, imagine if you could predict whether you and your partner will be together 10, 20 or 30 years from now?
Years of research by Emma Seppälä, PhD, and Kim Cameron, PhD, suggest that there is actually one key predictor of successful relationships that stands above the rest (and it's more important than personality, attraction, or money). It is called positive relational energy.
Understanding Positive Relational Energy
As explained by Dr. Seppälä in an article for PsychologyToday, positive relational energy is energy that helps uplift and revitalize someone, which in turn helps uplift and revitalize someone else. In long-term relationships, it's a positive cycle that has been shown to strengthen bonds.
Dr. Seppälä, Dr. Cameron and colleagues conducted several studies in work settings to explore positive relational energy.
In these studies, they asked participants to determine which people in their networks were the most positive, inspiring, and inspiring. The researchers also asked the participants about other colleagues and asked them to answer this question: "When I interact with this person in, what happens to my energy?"
From there, the researchers determined which members of the organization had the most positive relational energy. They called these people "positive energizers".
The researchers also determined the impact of positive energizers—they helped produce higher levels of work engagement, feelings of well-being, and lower employee turnover. Working relationships lasted longer and became healthier because of the positive energy of relationships.
This research can also be applied to married couples. Dr. Seppälä explains that positive relational energy is linked to relationship success because it leaves partners feeling inspired and more connected.
How to understand if your partner is a positive energy?
Here's a simple test you can take to see if your partner is who Dr. Seppälä and Dr. Cameron calls it a positive energizer: when you interact with your partner, what happens to your energy? Do you feel invigorated, enthusiastic and in tune with each other? Or do you feel de-energized, demoralized, diminished and uninspired?
Rate your energy on a scale of one to five, with one being very unenergized and five being extremely energetic.
This will give you a better idea of whether your relationship feels emotionally unhealthy, healthy but in need of improvement, or very healthy. /Telegraph/
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