How do we know if a movie is porn?

By: Umberto Eco
Translated by: Daut Dauti

I don't know if you have ever watched a pornographic film. I'm not thinking of movies with any erotic content, such as 'Last Tango in Paris', which even this one, I can think of, may be offensive to many people. No, I'm talking about real pornographic movies, whose real and only purpose is to stimulate the viewer's desire, from the beginning to the end, in such a way that by stimulating this desire with various scenes and separate sexual acts, the rest of the story counts as less than nothing.

Judges often have to decide whether a film is purely pornographic or has some artistic value in it. I am not one of those who insist that artistic value covers everything; sometimes the true works of art have been more dangerous to the belief, manners, opinions of the moment than have been the works of lesser value. But I believe that adults, if they consent, have the right to consume pornographic material, at least if they have nothing better to do. However, I understand that the court in any case has to decide whether the film was produced for the purpose of expressing a certain concept or for aesthetic ideals (even though the scenes damage the accepted view of morality) or whether it was made for the sole purpose of inciting the viewer's instincts.

Well, there is a criterion to decide whether the film is pornographic or not, and it is based on the calculation of the time lost. In the general masterpiece film 'Stagecoach' the event (except at the beginning, in some intervals and at the end) entirely takes place in the carriage. But without this journey, the film would have no meaning. Antonioni's 'L'avventura' is composed entirely of the loss of time: people come and go, talk, get lost and are found, without anything happening. Idle time may or may not be fun, but that's exactly what the movie is about.

In contrast, the pornographic film, in order to justify the price of the ticket or the purchase of the videotape, shows us that some people couple sexually, man with woman, man with man, woman with woman, woman with dog or stallion (I must emphasize that there are no pornographic films in which men mate with mares and bucks: why not?). And, again, that would be fine: but it's a total waste of time.

If Gilbert, in order to rape Gilbertine, has to go from Lincoln Center to Sheridon Square, the film shows Gilbert in his car during the entire journey, scene after scene.

Porn movies are full of people getting into cars and driving them for miles and miles, couples wasting huge amounts of time signing in at the hotel front desk, men wasting all those minutes in elevators before they get to their rooms, girls who sip different drinks and waste time fiddling with blouse ties before confessing to each other that they prefer Sappho to Don Juan. To put it crudely, in porn films, before you see a sound act of that work, you have to face a documentary that may even be sponsored by the Office of Communications.

There are clear reasons for this. In a movie where Gilbert did nothing but abuse Gilbertine from the front, back and sides, it would be intolerable. Physically for the actors and economically for the producers. Also, it would be psychological for the spectator: in order for the stop to work, the acting must take place against the background of normality. Portraying normality is the most difficult job for any artist - while portraying deviance, crime, rape, torture, is very easy.

Therefore, the pornographic film must present normality - it is essential that the stop has interest - in such a way that it is accepted by every viewer. Therefore, if Gilbert has to travel by bus from A to B, we see how he waits for the bus and then continues from A to B.

This often irritates the audience because they want the silent scenes to be continuous. But this is their illusion. They can't stand the silent scene that lasts an hour and a half. So the passages of wasted time are essential.

I'm repeating it. Go to the cinema. If the characters go from A to B takes longer than you want, then the movie you are watching is pornographic.