How to turn strong desire into an advantage for the relationship
Ineffective sex techniques are one of the reasons why some women refuse sex, because why would someone who never feels pleasure want sex all the time, warns couples relationship expert Tracey Cox.
For people with high libidos, it's hard to understand that someone might not want sex, so they sometimes think their partner wants sex, but just not with them, explains Tracey Cox, a British relationship and sex expert, adding that "no" shouldn't be taken personally, because the problem is often actually a lack of desire.
- The person with the lowest libido is not at fault for not reacting every time they see a chest or a prominent bicep, just as it is not your fault for reacting, says Cox and emphasizes that the management of testosterone production (high doses in people with high libido and low doses in those with low libido) is beyond our control and is influenced by many factors.
- The way you treat someone in bed is reflected in other aspects of the relationship, while arguing about guilt gets you nowhere, she emphasizes, adding that it is important to know that the amount of sex someone wants does not depend on gender, despite social beliefs, because "not all women have low libido and not all men have high libido."
She has shared some advice for people with strong libidos, reports Telegraph.
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Masturbate more often
- Yes, this applies to both parties; masturbation stimulates the desire for orgasm, but also frees us from tension, she explains.
Look at things from a different angle.
Think about how you would feel if the other person indicated that they didn't want touching, kissing, or sex, says Cox, explaining that people with higher libidos have a hard time believing that others really have to "work" to feel sexual desire.
Make the technique as good as possible
- Ineffective sexual techniques are one of the reasons why some women refuse sex, because why would anyone want sex constantly if they never reach orgasm, warns Cox.
Be the boyfriend/girlfriend of her/his dreams, not yours.
"Even if you're technically very good, it doesn't really matter if you're always trying to "revive" your fantasies and not hers," Cox points out. She adds that your partner will want more sex if they're truly enjoying it.
Pay attention to the moment when he/she wants sex.
"What time of day it is, what happened before, who made the first move - all of this will help you create the desired atmosphere next time," says Cox.
Think about whether you are really thirsty for sex.
- Don't use sex as an excuse if you really want closeness or affection but don't know how to express it, warns Cox.
Don't ask for more than you can afford.
Don't ask for a "sexual orgy" if a "bitch" would suffice, says Cox, explaining that "just because she doesn't stick out her tongue when she sees you doesn't mean she cares any less."
She also adds that you shouldn't always expect 'sex marathons', but sometimes enjoy quick sex, because it can be fantastic too.. /Telegraph/
