We had Muja, Hasa and Vučić.

By: Draža Petrović / N1
Translation: Telegrafi.com

Since the beginning of the student protests, the tactics of President Vučić and the Serbian Progressive Party resemble that strange and ridiculous tactic from the match between the national teams of Bosnia and Herzegovina and Brazil.

So, as the old joke goes, the Bosnia and Herzegovina national team was playing against Brazil, and the coach of the Bosnian football players, before the start, gave clear instructions to Muja and Hasa.

Muja must keep Brazil's best player, Neymar, under control, while Hasa must score goals, the coach explained, drawing the scheme on the board.

The match begins, Muja is not separated from Neymar, but in the fifth minute Hasa scores a goal - not against Brazil, but against the Bosnia and Herzegovina national team.

The game continues, Muja follows Neymar step by step, runs, fights, but in the 18th minute Hasa scores an own goal again.

Nothing, keep your head up, the coach shouts, and the match continues, Muja pushes Neymar, runs, sweats, gives everything on the field, doesn't let him breathe, but Hasa again puts the ball in his own goal.

The coach grabs his head and decides to change tactics.

– “Mom!” – he shouts: “Leave Neymar! Save Hasan!”

Thus, the Serbian Progressive Party also began its defense of the victory of Serbia, which has been attacked from outside and from within, as the president says. So the president decided on the following strategy: the progressives followed the students step by step, passively defending themselves at the blockades, just to show that they are there and that they will not allow Serbia to be destabilized by its traditional enemies, from Croatia to Papua New Guinea and Bangladesh.

But every time the situation with the students seemed to be calming down, some progressive would start beating the students, another would run over a student with a car, another would dislocate a student's jaw with a baseball bat. And so, after just one month, the students had gained an insurmountable lead over the Chinese Brazil called the Serbian Progressive Party.

Then the president changed his strategy: "Brothers and sisters, stop messing with the students, protect ours"!

But, unfortunately, it turned out that in the situation where all the progressives were focused on not scoring any more own goals – read: not driving into another student blockade – there was no one left to take care of the president, who started his tour titled “The bear also jumped in front of our door”, a tour that will end on the Presentation of Christ in the Temple, the day when the bears come out of their caves. An excellent choice of timing, because that is exactly when all the bears will jump in front of their door, something they still don’t know. Because, what government, whose “bear jumped in front of their door”, decides to organize a historic rally on the very day when the sleepy bears come out of their caves?

The president embarked on a tour to calm citizens who, as he deeply believed, were very worried about student protests and a revolution staged from abroad. But it turned out that citizens were not at all interested in this, as much as they were interested, for example, in what they would do with the increase in pensions of 900 dinars per month, of which 300 go to the television subscription, leaving only 600 dinars in hand.

– Citizens are complete idiots – thought the president that day in Tërstenik, accustomed to citizens asking him for some small service, like asphalt to the stables, changing the carburetor, an electric pole, a boy after three girls, sewage, a dairy cow or simply a warm human word, but suddenly he was faced with citizens asking him what to do with 900 dinars, from which his face turned red with anger and he started shouting.

Sometimes his face turned red, sometimes green, sometimes even purple – perhaps that’s how every fighter against the color revolution should look. And as he walked from Trstenik to Çoka to calm the citizens, they asked the most difficult question from “The Millionaire” – what can you buy in Serbia for 600 dinars?

Then the president held an emergency meeting with his closest associates, a body called the Rectal College, and the Rectal College gave him the idea to call a meeting with the Rector College, where they would talk about meeting student demands. But the idea of ​​the Rectal College, the highest body of the SNS, did not please the Rector College, which replied: “You are not authorized”!

Then the president realized that the television journalists were more worried than the citizens and the rectors, so he went to RTS, where he spoke at length to a very worried journalist, telling about his upset father, and then about his mother who, as he said, was very worried about the fate of her children and grandchildren.

– She doesn't leave the house at all. All day long she watches Informer, RTS, worries, wonders what will happen to her children and grandchildren. This has given me such strength, that you cannot understand. My energy is now at an exponential power. I will fight with such strength, I will fight with such energy for this country. I will fight so that no parent goes through what my parents went through – the president explained, word for word, on RTS, because he knows that, when all else fails, the popular option must be used: grab the electorate with emotions, with the mother and father who sit worried and pray for their little and sweet son who has already turned 54, while 20 or 24-year-olds who probably don't have worried parents have risen up against him.

Do you know that joke? It was Muja, Haso and Vučić, and they were playing against Brazilian students. Muja was guarding the students, while Vučić was supposed to score goals. And, after Vučić scored 10 own goals in a game that lasted two months, no one remembered to say: “Mujo, leave Neymar, guard Vučić”! /Telegrafi/