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I AM SO LOST IN THE PRESENT…

I AM SO LOST IN THE PRESENT…

Poetry by: Gregory Corso
Translated by: Fadil Bajraj

I am terribly lost in the present
I can't rush out of the house
and go see my dearest friend
- he died before any time
The corner is also my mother
she has sworn to take care of me
but I don't know him
After 67 years of life
I finally met him
–she lives far away in New Jersey
I don't know what to do on the street
how can i keep it...
People, life—completely different
I hardly know anyone
The old places where we lived, some have disappeared, others: unknown

Sometimes I cry for my old friends
sometimes for no reason at all
i feel depressed for no reason
guilty of some unknown sin
which I probably never did
I have not betrayed my friends
but myself
Recently I understood
that these friends were blessed by God
After a life without love
these angels without wings loved me
Not knowing what love is, awkwardly,
I was unaware of my fate
Did God command: "Go, go love what no one has ever loved"


It took a year
and many deaths during that year
to end the life I was used to—

In this new life
deprived of all known things
I feel like I was dead
and immediately I came back to life
in a world unknown to me—